Q: Your book addresses a lot of the things that have been setbacks for me, namely growing up with very tight financial resources, the desire to please, and the fear of taking the leap (or really just not knowing how to take the leap). How did you do it?
A: First, I hope my surviving the drownings does inspire you and other readers . . . it’s why I wrote the book. I've been there, and if I can do it, anyone can! Here are a few thoughts on each topic.
ON TIGHT FINANCES
Whatever we put our energy into is what we create. How much time do you spend thinking about what you don't want? When you are worried, you run a constant inner dialogue of “ain’t it awful” or “what if.” Try reversing that ratio, and spend more of your time dwelling on what you desire. Cut negative thinking from your diet. Visualize capital coming to you from many sources, and picture the job or goal you desire. Prosperous thoughts lead to prosperity.
THE DESIRE TO PLEASE
Just say no, and accept it might sting for second. The only way to break the cycle of the disease to please is to say no. Get used to feeling anxious about repercussions. Then, it gets easier because the rewards of getting what makes you happy will compensate for the fear of making someone mad. Plus, once you set boundaries, and keep them consistently, people get it. You will make others unhappy at first, especially if they are used to service from you with a smile. Some people can even get mean or rude. Let them eat cake . . . or your dust!
TAKING A LEAP
Play pretend. In the first chapter of Unsinkable I tell the story of how I sat in the boss’s chair (after business hours) just to see what it felt like. Allow yourself to experience where the leap will take you, and your subconscious mind won't know the difference. Like athletes who practice a golf swing in front of a video screen or pilots who train in simulators, find ways to exercise the muscle and mental memory. For example, if you want to earn more money in your life, go window shopping. When you see something you like, tell yourself, “That’s for me.” Some people take this a step further and actually test drive cars, visit model homes, or, like Candice Bergen in the movie Miss Congeniality, pantomime the feelings and actions of winning the beauty pageant.
Taking a leap is really making a series of steps that expand your comfort zone each day. Like a baby bird bouncing around with fluttering wings, keep at it until you get to the edge of the nest — and then roll out, let yourself soar.
Keep the faith. You already have the dreams, so bravo for that clarity of intention. Your email says to me that you are practicing new thought. Just keep it up, and write me when you find your right job: I believe I will hear from you soon.
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